Diamonds Are Forever

After George Lazenby portrayed James Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, Sean Connery returned to the tux, gimmicks, and catchphrases of Secret Agent 007 in his penultimate Bond outing, Diamonds Are Forever. Fragments of Ian Fleming’s original 1954 novel remain, including the characters of the alluring Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) and fey hitmen Wint (Bruce Glover) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith). The remainder of Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz’s script diverges dramatically from the novel, involving Bond in a scheme by the insidious Ernst Blofeld (Charles Gray) to force the world powers to disarm so that he can take over the globe. Folksinger Jimmy Dean shows up briefly as a Howard Hughes-like reclusive billionaire, while Lana Wood (Natalie’s sister) participates in one of the film’s edgiest cliffhangers. Agreeing to make Diamonds Are Forever only because of the money offered him, Sean Connery parted company with the role for 12 years after this film…
(JAMES BOND THEME PLAYING)
(SCREAMING)
BOND: Where is he?
(MAN GROANS)
I shan’t ask you
politely next time.
Where is Blofeld?
Cai… Cai… Cairo.
Cards.
(MEN CHATTERING)
Hit me.
(GRUNTS)
BOND: One chance.
Where can I find him?
Marie. Ask Marie.
Who are you?
My name is Bond.
James Bond.
Is there something
I can do for you?
Yes, as a matter
of fact there is.
There’s something
I’d like you
to get off your chest.
(GASPS)
(GASPING)
Where is
Ernst Stavro Blofeld?
(CHOKING)
Speak up, darling,
I can’t hear you.
PLASTIC SURGEON:
We now come
to phase four, the nose.
In my opinion,
the most difficult part
of a plastic
transformation.
I want the operation
done tonight.
But signor…
There’s no time left.
But, signor Blofeld,
this is a most
delicate procedure.
It cannot…
Tonight.
Keep the temperature
at precisely 80 degrees.
(GASPING)
(CHOKING)
BLOFELD: Making mud pies, 007?
(CHUCKLES)
He would have been
me in a matter of days.
If you’d given
the poor fellow a chance.
Such a pity.
I was dying to see how
the operation turned out.
Get his gun.
Hold it!
Get your hands up.
(SNAPPING)
(SHOUTS)
(GRUNTING)
Kill him!
(GRUNTING)
Welcome to hell, Blofeld.
(CAT MEOWING)
(DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER PLAYING)
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ They are all I need
to please me
♪ They can stimulate
and tease me
♪ They won’t leave
in the night
♪ I’ve no fear
that they might desert me
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Hold one up
and then caress it ♪
♪ Touch it, stroke it
and undress it
♪ I can see every part
♪ Nothing hides
in the heart to hurt me
♪ I don’t need love ♪
♪ For what good
will love do me?
♪ Diamonds never lie to me
♪ For when love’s gone
♪ They luster on
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Sparkling round
my little finger
♪ Unlike men,
the diamonds linger
♪ Men are mere mortals
who are not worth going to
your grave for

♪ I don’t need love
♪ For what good
will love do me
♪ Diamonds never lie to me
♪ For when love’s gone
♪ They luster on
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Forever, forever ♪
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Forever, forever
♪ Forever
♪ And ever ♪
“Star of South Africa.
83.5 carats rough,
“47.5 carats cut.”
“The Akbar Shah,
116 carats rough.”
Are you paying
attention, 007?
“The Akbar Shah,
116 karats rough.”
But surely, sir,
there’s no need
to bring in our section
on a relatively simple
smuggling matter.
Sir Donald
has convinced
the PM otherwise.
May I remind you, 007,
that Blofeld’s dead.
Finished.
The least we can
expect from you now
is a little plain
solid work.
Good morning,
gentlemen.
Good morning.
Sir Donald
will see you now.
Thank you.
Good morning,
Sir Donald.
Now this is
Commander Bond.
How do you do,
Commander Bond?
How do you do, sir?
Please sit down.
Thank you.
Sherry?
Not for me, thanks.
Doctor’s orders.
Commander Bond?
Yes. Thank you.
You’ve been
on holiday,
I understand.
Relaxing, I hope.
Oh, hardly relaxing,
but most satisfying.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Pity about
your liver, sir.
It’s an unusually fine solera.
’51, I believe.
There is no year
for sherry, 007.
I was referring to
the original vintage
on which
the sherry is based, sir.
1851.
Unmistakable.
Precisely.
Tell me, Commander,
how far does your
expertise extend
into the field of diamonds?
Well, hardest substance
found in nature.
They cut glass,
suggest marriage.
I suppose they’ve replaced
a dog as a girl’s best friend.
And that’s about it.
Refreshing to hear
there’s one subject
you’re not an expert on.
Yes, well, perhaps
I’d better give you
a brief background
into our problem.
Eighty percent
of the world’s diamonds
come from mines
in South Africa.
Most are dug out
of shafts
of diamond-bearing clay
at depths of
up to 3,000 feet.
The whole process
from start to finish
operates under
an airtight
security system.

It’s an essential
precaution,
even though
the industry
prides itself

on the loyalty
and devotion
of its workers.

Naturally, the security
measures tend to
ensure that loyalty,

as do the
extensive amenities
and social services
we provide.
There’s a permanent staff
of doctors, nurses,
even dentists

and the whole process,
from start to finish,
operates under
an airtight
security system.

It’s a necessary
precaution,
even though the
industry prides itself
on the loyalty
and devotion
of its workers.

Next.
WINT: The scorpion.
Mother nature’s
finest killer,
Mr. Wint.
One is never
too old to learn
from a master, Mr. Kidd.
Dr. Tynan.
Good evening.
Who are you
and where is Joe?
Joe couldn’t
make it tonight.
I’m Mr. Wint.
This is Mr. Kidd.
Oh, I see.
(GROANING)
What’s the matter
with him?
It’s my wisdom teeth.
I haven’t had them
out yet.
Would you mind
having a look, Doctor?
Of course.
I’m not going
to hurt you.
Just open.
No, no, no. Open wide.
(SCREAMS)
Curious how everyone
who touches
those diamonds
seems to die.
PILOT: Stop right there!
Who are you?
Dr. Tynan sent us.
Why didn’t he
come himself?
He was taken sick.
Bitten by the bug.
He sent this
for you.
If God had wanted
man to fly…
He would have
given him wings,
Mr. Kidd.
Of course,
no security system is perfect.
We’ve always accepted
a percentage of smuggling.
But over the past
two years,
despite all
our precautions,
it’s gone up
alarmingly.
Even more alarming
is the fact
that none of the stones
have reached the market.
Sir Donald thinks
someone’s stockpiling.
What concerns us
is the possibility
of someone
either dumping the stones
on the market
to depress prices or…
Making you
agree to
perpetual blackmail.
Exactly.
What we need
to know is who
the stockpilers are.
The letter “u”
is for “umbrella”.
We take it lest it rain.
We hope we shan’t want it
till we’re home again.
Two men
to see you, Missy.
Gentlemen?
I shan’t be long,
children.
Joshua’s going
to read you a story.
How nice to see you again.
Where to this time?
Amsterdam.
Amsterdam! Oh, how lovely.
I shall have to bring
back some pictures
of the canals
for the children.
Ask and ye
shall receive,
Mrs. Whistler.
Thus endeth
the lesson
for today, gentlemen.
Several recent murders
in South Africa
have complicated matters.
If they shut down
operations before
we discover them…
It would be
catastrophic for us
and for the government.
Well, I’ve always
rather fancied a trip
to South Africa.
You’re going to Holland.
For some time now
we’ve had our eyes
on a professional smuggler
called Peter Franks.
He’s due to leave
for Amsterdam.
Do we know who
his contacts are?
We do function
in your absence, Commander.
A passport, sir.
Ah, Mr. Franks.
There’s a message for you
at Passport Control.
Now, that door
over there.
You can park
your car outside.
Thank you.
(HORN HONKING)
(FOGHORN BLARING)
Mr. Franks. Your passport
is quite in order.
Well, anyone seeing you
in that outfit, Moneypenny,
would most certainly
be discouraged
from leaving the country.
What can I bring you back
from Holland?
A diamond. In a ring.
Would you settle
for a tulip?
Yes.
FEMALE GUIDE OVER LOUDSPEAKER:
Ahead is one of the
oldest bridges in Amsterdam.

The Skinny Bridge.
It was built over
300 years ago by two sisters
who wanted to visit
each other every day.
Unfortunately,
they ran out of money,
so that is why it is called
the Skinny Bridge.
On your right,
those beautiful old houses
can be seen
in the paintings of our
famous painter Rembrandt.

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
if you will look to your left
as we down the Amstel,
you can see…
Oh!
Mrs. Whistler did want
some pictures
of the canals
for the children.
How kind of you,
Mr. Kidd.
The children
will be so thrilled.
WOMAN: Yes?
Franks. Peter Franks.
Come up. Third floor.
(DOOR BUZZES)
(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING
ON STEREO)
Make yourself
at home.
I’ll be out
in a minute.
Help yourself
to a drink.
Is Mr. Case
not at home?
There is no Mr. Case.
The “T” is for Tiffany.
Tiffany Case?
Definitely distinctive.
I was born there
on the first floor
while my mother
was looking
for a wedding ring.
Well, I’m glad
for your sake
it wasn’t
Van Cleef and Arpels.
Weren’t you a blond
when I came in?
Could be.
I tend to notice
little things like that,
whether a girl is
a blond or a brunette.
And which
do you prefer?
Well, providing the collars
and the cuffs match…
We’ll talk
about that later.
Let me have your glass.
I’ll get you some ice.
That’s quite a nice
little nothing
you’re almost wearing.
I approve.
I don’t dress
for the hired help.
Let’s see
your passport, Franks.
“Occupation,
transport consultant?”
It’s a little cute,
isn’t it?
I’ll finish dressing.
Oh, please don’t.
Not on my account.
Oh, I don’t care
much for redheads.
Terrible tempers.
But somehow
it seems to suit you.
It’s my own.
But it is in need
of some soft lighting,
and I know
a little restaurant
quite close…
I never mix business
with pleasure.
Well, neither do I.
Good. Then we can start
by saving the cute remarks
until after
you get the diamonds
into Los Angeles.
Where are they now?
That’s not your problem.
Your problem
is getting them in.
How much is there?
Fifty thousand carats.
Well, 142 carats
an ounce.
That’s an awful lot
of ice.
That won’t be easy.
That’s why
you’re being paid 50 grand.
What did you think
it was going to be,
a pair of earrings?
And, Franks, for God sakes,
come up
with something original.
I’ve got to hand it to you, Q.
Quite ingenious.
Oh, an obvious
little notion.
Thought it might
come in handy.
Oh, by the way,
M’s been trying
to get in touch with you.
That Peter Franks
fellow has escaped.
Killed one of the guards
on the way up to London.
Hello?
Hello?
Are you there?
(EXCLAIMS IN ANNOYANCE)
TIFFANY: Yes?
Peter Franks.
Third floor.
Guten abend.
Good evening.
Bitte.
(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
You are English?
Yes, I’m English.
I speak English.
Who is your floor?
Three, please.
(GRUNTING)
(GLASS SHATTERING)
(GROANING)
(SHOUTS)
(GROANS)
(FRANKS GRUNTS)
(SHOUTS)
Is he dead?
I sincerely hope so.
Who is he?
No idea.
This chap’s
been following me
all day today.
My God!
You’ve just killed James Bond.
Is that who it was?
Well, it just proves
no one’s indestructible.
You don’t kill
James Bond
and sit around waiting
for the cops to arrive.
We’ve got to get
those diamonds
out of here and fast.
Where are they?
A little old lady
dropped them by
yesterday morning.
Priceless.
I think we ought to
let Mr. Bond
carry the load
from here on out.
It’s funny.
All the things
one wanted to say
to one’s brother
when it’s all too late.
Let me assure you
once again of our
deepest condolences.
Would you please
board the aircraft?
We were inseparable,
you know.
Please, Mr. Franks.
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Lufthansa announce
the departure

of their flight number
LH450 to Los Angeles.
Will you please
fasten seat belts,
and no smoking until airborne.
Thank you.
They’re both aboard.
I must say, Miss Case
seems quite attractive.
For a lady.
(LAUGHS)
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Lufthansa announce the arrival
of their flight LH450
from Amsterdam…
MAN: Mr. Franks?
Yes?
Follow me
to customs, please.
Peter Franks, Jerry.
Get some lunch, Jerry.
I’ll take over.
Death certificate, please,
Mr. Franks.
Well, well, well.
Felix Leiter,
you old fraud.
On behalf of the CIA,
welcome to America.
Someone sent
their brain trust
down to meet you.
I give up.
I know the diamonds
are in the body, but where?
Alimentary, Dr. Leiter.
So long, James.
Keep in touch.
The rest of your luggage
has been cleared, Mr. Franks.
Okay, fellas!
(PLANES ROARING)
You want to sit
in the front,
Mr. Franks?
It’s a lot smoother
ride In the front,
Mr. Franks.
Yes, I believe
I’ll sit in front.
The stiff…
(CLEARS THROAT)
Deceased back there,
your brother,
Mr. Franks?
Yes, it was.
I got a brother.
Small world.
(RECORDING OF ORGAN PLAYING)
Mr. Franks,
I’m Morton Slumber.
Please accept
my heartfelt condolences
at this most
difficult hour.
Well, he is heading
for a better world,
Mr. Slumber.
There is some
consolation in that.
Now then,
if we’re ready to begin
the final journey.
(ORGAN PLAYING FADES OUT)
(RECORDING OF CHOIR PLAYS)
(CHOIR STOPS)
May his soul
rest in peace.
Oh, yes. Amen.
If you would care
to follow me
into my comfortable
office, Mr. Franks.
We will bring you the urn.
I’m so happy you chose
our half-couch, hinge-panel,
Slumber-On casket.
I’m sure your
brother would have
appreciated it.
Oh, I’m sure he did.
Please, be seated.
Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
Exactly.
At a moment like this,
I’m sure you’d rather
be left alone
for reflection.
Most thoughtful.
So we’ve selected
a private niche
for your brother
in our garden
of remembrance.
It’s the one
with the restful
chartreuse curtains
and the angel’s breath
gold trim.
You can’t miss it.
I hope you’ll find
everything in order.
The arrangements
have been impeccable,
Mr. Slumber.
So far.
(ORGAN PLAYING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Very moving.
Heartwarming, Mr. Wint.
A glowing tribute,
Mr. Kidd.
(RUMBLING)
You dirty
double-crossing,
limey fink!
Those goddamn diamonds
are phonies!
Now, don’t tell me.
You’re Saint Peter.
Paste! Glass!
Where’s the real
stuff, Franks?
Where’s the real money?
What do you mean?
You wouldn’t burn up
50,000 real dollars,
now, would you?
One last break, Franks.
Where are
the real diamonds?
You get me
the real money,
and I’ll bring you
the real diamonds.
Where the hell
do you think
you’re going?
I hear that
the Hotel Tropicana’s
quite comfortable.
My condolences,
gentlemen.
Hello, Felix.
Oh, very comfortable.
There’s one
problem, though.
I want the real merchandise,
and rather quickly.
LEITER: Q’s just
arrived with it.
We’ll be up with them
in the morning.
So I’d sit tight
if I were you.
There’s no sense
in looking for trouble.
Just enjoy
yourself, James.
I’m sure you know how.
Quite.
I’ll probably take in
a show or something.
(SLOT MACHINES CLANGING)
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Calling Mr. Winegott.
Mr. Winegott.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
SHADY TREE: How do you
like me so far?
People say
I have the body
of Rock Hudson.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
If he ever finds out
what I’m doing to it,
he’d be madder than hell.
I call these girls my acorns.
Actually,
they’re a gift
from Willard Whyte,
who is upstairs
right now somewhere
playing monopoly
with real buildings.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
I tried to phone him,
but trying to find
Willard Whyte
is like
trying to find a virgin
in a maternity ward.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
And on behalf
of the Whyte House,
I’m going to let you
folks know
you’ve been
a lousy audience.
So get lost.
See you later.
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
(BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
WINT: Shady Tree.
Shady, we just
adored your act.
What taste.
Style.
And we have
a few suggestions.
Critics and material
I don’t need.
I haven’t changed
my act in 40 years.
Hold it.
Don’t go in there.
We didn’t get
the real diamonds,
so we need Tree. Alive.
That’s most annoying.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: Get down there!
Craps, boxcars. A loser.
Well, that’s it, pussycat.
I shot the whole wad.
What do you say?
Back to my place?
You’re a
nice person, Maxie.
Really, you are.
Why don’t you go
and take a nap
and I’ll see you
next year?
BOND: May I have $5,000?
No, make it 10,000.
Two thousand dollar limit.
Is there some problem?
Mr. Saxby.
Gentleman wants
$10,000 credit
with a $2,000 limit.
My name is Franks.
Peter Franks.
Mr. Franks’ credit’s good.
Good luck to you,
Mr. Franks.
Thank you. I’ll have
two stacks now.
Give the gentleman
four thousand.
BOND: Thank you.
Hi, I’m Plenty.
But of course you are.
Plenty O’Toole.
Named after
your father, perhaps?
Would you like
some help?
On the craps,
I mean.
That’s very kind
of you.
Coming out.
Coming out.
Next shooter’s a lady.
Ladies are lucky,
’cause they’re ladies.
Nine. Mark nine.
Seven. Loser.
The lucky lady craps out.
New shooter.
Your shot, Mr. F.
WHYTE: Willard Whyte
speaking.
Tree’s dead.
Turn on number two.
It’s Peter Franks.
Point’s 10. A hard 10.
Ten’s the number.
I’ll take the full odds
on the 10.
Two hundred on the hard way.
The limit
on all the numbers.
250 on the 11.
Thank you very much.
Say, you played
this game before.
Just once.
SAXBY:
Now what do we do?
WHYTE: Don’t bother me
with details, Bert.
Just get me
the diamonds.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
You handle
those cubes
like a monkey
handles coconuts.
Thank you, gentlemen,
for such a
sterling service.
DEALER 1: Thank you.
DEALER 2: Thank you very much.
Well, that’s $50,000.
Minus 5,000 for you,
leaves me 45,000
and thank you very much.
Well, it was nothing.
Really!
You know something,
Peter Franks,
you’re a terrific guy.
A little weird,
but a terrific guy.
Say, why don’t we
go someplace
and have a drink?
A drink?
Well, if you’d like
to come in, Plenty.
Oh, how pretty!
What a super place
you have!
Mmm.
Just give me
one second, lover.
Good evening.
I’m afraid you’ve caught me
with more than my hands up.
Hey, what the hell
is this?
A perverts’ convention
or something?
Hey, listen,
you can’t do this to me.
Stop that!
I’ve got friends
In this town!
(GASPING)
Exceptionally fine shot.
I didn’t know
there was a pool
down there.
(SHOUTS)
All right.
Let’s get down to business.
I presume you’ve come
for the real…
The real diamonds.
Good evening, Miss Case.
Sorry about
your fulsome friend.
I bet you really
missed something.
Well, the evening
may not be a total loss
after all.
Why don’t we talk
a bit first?
First?
Well, what would you
like to talk about?
You pick a subject.
Diamonds?
Good boy.
And you want to know
where they are,
and whether
I’m working alone
or not.
So far, so good. Keep going.
And if not,
then with whom.
So you can
inform your superiors
and acquire
the diamonds.
Peter, I’m very impressed.
There’s a lot more to you
than I had expected.
Presumably,
I’m the condemned man,
and, uh, obviously
you’re the hearty breakfast.
Right?
You’re not going
to tell me where
the diamonds are,
are you?
What diamonds?
Sooner or later,
you’ll have to talk.
They’ll make you.
At the very least,
you’ll never get out
of town alive.
I can solve
that little problem.
It’s lucky for me
that I ran into you.
Fifty-fifty split.
You get the diamonds,
I get us out.
Us?
Well, I can’t very well
help you
and then stick around.
We could be on a plane
and out of the country
by tomorrow night.
Rio. Hong Kong.
I know a good tailor
in Hong Kong.
Hong Kong.
All right.
I’ll get the diamonds,
you get the plane tickets.
No, the airport’s
too obvious.
A rented car
should do us fine
for openers.
Good thinking.
And since
you’re the one
who’s being watched,
I’ll get the diamonds,
you get the car.
That’s very
good thinking.
Oh, Peter.
I have the feeling
that this is
the beginning
of a wonderful relationship.
(MOANS)
Darling.
Hmm?
Where do I
pick up the diamonds?
When was the last time
you visited the circus?
Circus Circus
proudly presents
The Flying Palacios!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(DRUMROLL)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
She’s in the building.
Right. Stand by.
Do me a favor, James.
Next time,
pick a contact point
when you’re standing up.
Felix, if she gives
your men the slip…
Relax. I’ve got upwards
of 30 agents down there.
A mouse with sneakers on
couldn’t get through.
(CYMBALS CRASHING)
Give Maxwell his clue.
This is quarterback.
Operation “Passover” commence.
Quarterback to tight end.
Operation “Passover” commence.
Roger.
Well, she’s on her way.
So far, so good.
Well, good luck, Felix.
I’ll see you later.
Where are you going?
The car rental agency.
Our little rendezvous.
You don’t actually think
she’s going to show up,
do you?
That’s a thousand
to one shot.
No, more like
even money.
Her devotion
to larceny
versus my
incomparable charm.
(CYMBAL CRASHING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
MAN: All right now, kiddies.
Get ready, aim, fire!
Go ahead!
Oh, what did I tell you?
Didn’t I promise you
a winner every time?
There you are, young man.
How about that, huh?
All right,
now boys and girls,
here we go again.
All you have to do
is just take your gun…
All right, now here
we have a little lady,
here we have
a little man,
and here we have
a big lady.
You’re a little
out of your league,
aren’t you, sister?
All right now, boys.
Come on, point the guns.
You know
what to do.
All ready, get set.
Now hold it
till I say go.
Go!
Now come on, that’s it!
Everybody point
right at the clown.
Winner every time.
Get them up there.
There we are. All right.
That’s the way to do it.
Oh, look at that.
And we have another winner.
Annie Oakley on the end, huh?
Here we are.
What an eye! What an eye!
BOY: Wait a second. Hold it!
I saw the whole thing!
The machine’s fixed.
Who’s she, your mother?
Blow up your pants.
BOY: One win.
She only had one win.
Fred.
You’re supposed to have
24 to win that dog.
Will you give it
a rest, kid, huh?
All right, boys and girls.
Here we go, everybody.
Come on.
(DRUMROLL)
(TRUMPET FANFARE)
(TRUMPETS)
MAN: Go. Here we go.
And they’re off.
(CONTINUES NARRATING
HORSE RACE)
MAN ON P.A.:
Here for the first time,
see Zambora,

strangest girl
ever born to live.
She was captured
near Nairobi, South Africa,
and is believed
to be part of a cruel,
inhuman experiment.

This beautiful girl
will be locked
into a steel cage

right in front of your eyes,
will change very slowly
into a ferocious
450-pound gorilla.
Please be very still,
ladies and gentlemen.
We must have
absolute silence
so we wouldn’t
disturb Zambora
from her
transcendental state.
We must warn you
that in every
scientific experiment,
there’s always a danger.
So keep in mind,
this curtain is our exit.
God forbid,
if something should
go wrong over here,
get out of here.
Now we start
the transformation.
Very dangerous.
Very quiet, please.
(MACHINE BEEPING)
(MACHINE TRILLING)
Wake, my beauty, wake!
(GROWLING)
(METAL CLANGING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
MAN 2: Here, lady, you can’t
go through there.
The other way!
Come on.
(HORN HONKS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
No show?
Felix, don’t tell me
you lost her.
We lost her.
Nice place
you have here.
Take something off.
Enjoy the sun.
You’ve got
a lot of guts
showing up here,
after letting me
freeze my behind off
at a blackjack table
for two hours,
waiting for some
nonexistent diamonds.
And what the hell
is my black wig
doing in the pool?
She’s…
Dead.
It’s supposed
to be you.
The next link
in the pipeline.
What are you
talking about?
Poor Plenty
must have stumbled
in here looking for you.
I don’t believe you.
A dentist is dead
in South Africa,
that little old lady
in Amsterdam,
Shady got his last night,
they’ve missed me once,
and you’re next.
Who’s your connection?
You sound
like a cop to me.
(GASPS)
Who’s your connection?
All I know his voice
is on a phone.
They got me this place
and told me
to wait for further
instructions.
You’ll find it
rather difficult
to hear underwater.
Now where’s the stuff?
Who are you?
You’re not a cop,
and you’re not
Peter Franks.
And you’re not
the type to turn
the other cheek.
Now where’s the stuff?
WOMAN ON P.A.:
Eastern Airlines
announce the arrival

of their flight 112
from Los Angeles, Gate Seven.
(AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING)
Thank you.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(BELL DINGS)
Fill it up, please.
Okay.
It’s Bert Saxby.
TIFFANY: It’s Willard Whyte’s
right-hand man.
Do you see the top?
The penthouse?
Mmm.
They say Willard Whyte
hasn’t set foot
out of there
in three years,
and no one
has seen him. No one.
How much is that?
Did you pay for this?
Cut him off!
(TIRE SCREECHING)
Hey, Curly.
What about my stamps?
Where are you going?
Are you mad? Let me by!
Stamps? You ain’t got
no gas yet. Okay?
Okay, so shove
a couple gallons in.
Well, back it up.
(HORN HONKS)
Keep leaning
on that tooter, Charlie,
and you’re gonna get
a shot in the mouth.
Come on, lady, move it.
Oh, okay, lady, you win.
You win.
(HORNS HONKING)
Will someone
move that car?
Do what he says.
Hey! I wanted high-test.
Forget it, Curly.
You had your chance,
and you blew it.
Okay, Professor.
Hello.
Hi.
Haven’t see you
here before.
I’m Klaus
Hergersheimer.
Ah, new here.
I’ve been here
three years.
G section.
How are things
in G section?
Oh, still the same
old grind, you know.
Checking
radiation shields
for replacement.
Hey, by the way,
where’s yours?
Uh, I’ve been
waiting a couple days
for you guys
to deliver them.
Gee, I’m sorry.
You should have
given us a phone call.
Look. I’ve got
one here.
Lucky for you
I carry spares.
Now, you keep that on.
You can’t be too careful
about radiation.
Absolutely.
I feel much safer
with this on.
See you around.
(BEEPING)
Who are you?
What do you want?
Klaus Hergersheimer.
G section.
Just, uh, checking
on radiation shields.
Now, let me see.
You are, uh…
Professor Dr. Metz.
Our shields are fine.
Now get out!
I’m sorry.
It’ll only take a moment,
but, uh, I must verify.
Metz.
How do you spell it?
Will you please leave,
you irritating man?
Doctor, there’s no
reason to run down
the little people.
G section may not be
as important
to the operation as you are,
but we do
have our orders.
Dr. Metz,
Willard Whyte for you.
Right. Out. Out.
METZ: Hello, W.W.
Yes, it’s finally here.
Oh, quite enough
for completion.
We’ll be through shortly.
No. No problems
at all.
Right.
Now will you
get out of here?
Certainly, Doctor.
I’ve seen everything
I need to see.
Thank you very much.
Hi. Sorry to bother you.
I’m Klaus Hergersheimer.
G section.
Checking radiation shields.
(ALARM SOUNDING)
There he is, behind the rock.
Come on!
MAN OVER P.A.:
What the hell is this?
Amateur night?

Stop him, Harry!
Get him off that machine.
That isn’t a toy.
Get out of that moon buggy!
(ALARM SOUNDING)
It’s gone berserk.
Hey, stop!
Hey, where do you think
you’re going?
Hey!
That way!
What happened?
Where are
the diamonds?
Get in the car!
If you see
a mad professor
in a minibus,
just smile.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Fred, get the
sheriff’s office.
Okay.
Listen, you can drop me off
at the corner.
This is whole thing
is getting a little
out of hand.
No regrets, but when you
start stealing moon machines
from Willard Whyte,
goodbye and good luck.
Just relax.
I have a friend named Felix
who can fix anything.
Is he married?
There goes
that son of a bitch
and saboteur.
(SIREN WAILING)
Relax. You’ve got
a friend named Felix
who can fix anything.
Unfortunately,
so can Willard Whyte.
(TIRES SCREECH)
Why, you dirty…
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SIREN WAILING)
Come in, Larry. Larry?
Larry?
Did you
get him, Larry?
I think Larry got him.
Sheriff.
Attaboy, Larry.
Come in. Larry?
Sheriff.
(SIRENS WAILING)
I got you now.
Lean over.
TIFFANY:
Darling, why are we
suddenly staying
in the bridal suite
of The Whyte House?
In order to form a more
perfect union, sweetheart.
James?
May I finally
call you James?
What’s going
to happen to me?
You did talk
to your friend
Felix about me?
Mmm-hmm.
Well, what did
he say?
Something about
20 years to life.
Nothing important.
Twenty years to life!
Relax, darling.
I’m on top
of the situation.
Mr. and Mrs. Jones?
Yes, that’s the name
on the register,
Mr. Leiter.
What’s the score
with W.W.?
Washington says no go.
We sit
still for now.
Sit still?
And Miss Tiffany Case Jones
has a lifetime
reservation
at another hotel,
the kind
the government runs.
I’m cooperating,
Mr. Leiter.
Really I am.
Oh, I can
vouch for that.
Felix, this is not
the real White House,
and he’s not
the President.
Why don’t we
just go and see him?
The President
I can get you
in to see.
But until Washington
starts believing
Willard Whyte’s a thief,
that’s the way it is.
In the meantime,
I’m sure you
and Mrs. Jones
can find some way
to amuse yourselves.
And just to make sure
you’re not disturbed,
I have a man upstairs.
And Hamilton
is right out here.
So long, James.
Well, that’s a switch.
What’s that?
The wolf
being guarded by
the three little pigs.
(CHUCKLES)
I won’t be long,
darling.
Where are you going?
I’m just
popping upstairs
for a moment.
WOMAN: Sixteenth floor?
ELEVATOR ATTENDANT: No, lady.
Starlight Lounge only.
Okay, folks,
stand clear
of the doors.
Here we go.
Starlight Lounge
to the left.
Express to street
level only, folks.
Okay, stand clear
of the doors.
Here we go.
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
MAN: Howdy. Welcome, son.
We’ve been expecting you.

You got any
personal business
to take care of in there,

you go right ahead.
First, I suspect
you’re wearing a hog-leg.
Would you mind standing up
and taking it off?
Oh, isn’t that nice?
You are a pleasant fellow.
(CHUCKLES)
Why don’t you
just come on in, son?
Relax.
Make yourself comfortable.
That’s good.
Right on over there.
Good evening, Mr. Bond.
Blofeld.
Good evening, 007.
Double jeopardy, Mr. Bond.
You killed
my only other double,
I’m afraid.
After his death,
volunteers were
understandably
rather scarce.
Such a pity.
All that time
and expense,
simply to provide you
with one mock
heroic moment.
(PHONE RINGING)
(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
Willard Whyte speaking.
Yes, Governor,
I got your message.
No, no, I’m afraid
a personal appearance
is quite out of the question.
I’ll send a deposition
to the committee.
Thank you, Governor.
Well, that’s a neat trick.
A voice box, Mr. Bond.
Science was never
my strong suit,
but the principle’s
easy enough.
Someone’s voice patterns
and resonance
stored in a small
aural signature tape.
A miniature transistorized
version is installed
in his neck.
Or is it his neck?
I never can remember.
Anyway, no matter.
We both sound alike.
My congratulations
to you both.
Well, nice little company.
Explosives, oil,
electronics, houses,
aviation.
I’ve done rather
well with it too.
Tried to cut
some of the fat off,
but actually
Mr. Whyte’s a splendid
administrator.
(LAUGHS)
Damn thing runs itself.
I suppose
you killed him.
Nothing so melodramatic.
I’m simply holding him
in cold storage,
so to speak.
An insurance policy
against any outside
interference with
my plans.
Mmm. The ideal
kidnap victim.
No one’s seen the man
for five years.
So who’s going
to miss someone
who’s already missing?
How clever you are, Mr. Bond.
Nice to see
you haven’t lost
that fine
mental edge, 007.
Please don’t get
any foolish notions.
That missile is not
a practical weapon.
Well, it’s hardly
worth the effort.
(CAT MEOWING)
After all, I wouldn’t
know which one
of you to kill.
We appreciate your
predicament, Mr. Bond.
We deeply sympathize.
(CAT MEOWS)
(GASPS)
(CAT MEOWING)
Bright idea, Mr. Bond.
But wrong pussy.
I do so enjoy
our little visits, Mr. Bond.
However potentially
painful they may be.
But I’m afraid this one
has come to an end.
What do you intend to do
with those diamonds?
An excellent question.
And one which will be
hanging on the lips
of the world quite soon.
If I were to break
the news to anyone
it would be
to you first, Mr. Bond,
you know that.
But it’s late, I’m tired
and there’s so much
left to do.
Good night, Mr. Bond.
Well, go on, go on.
It’s merely a lift.
Or perhaps
I should say elevator.
In any event,
I’m sure you’ll find it
much more convenient
than mountaineering about
outside the Whyte House.
You press “L,” Mr. Bond.
The word “lobby”
begins with “L.”
(WHIRRING)
(HISSING)
(CRASH)
If at first you don’t
succeed, Mr. Kidd?
Try, try again,
Mr. Wint.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
(SQUEAKING)
One of us smells
like a tart’s handkerchief.
I’m afraid it’s me.
Sorry about that, old boy.
(SQUEAKING)
(METALLIC SCREECHING)
I don’t mind
that cockamamie machine
breaking down twice a day,
but why the hell
does it always have to be
500 yards away
from the nearest hatch?
(GRUNTING)
All right, Charlie,
it’s your turn
to play hunchback.
Thank you very much.
I was just out
walking my rat,
and I seem
to have lost my way.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Willard Whyte speaking.
(SPEAKING IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
This is Bert.
We got a problem.
What’s the matter
with your voice, Bert?
Have you got a cold?
Never mind about that.
I just saw James Bond
in the casino.
That’s impossible.
Yeah, well, you
come and have
a look for yourself.

Hey, listen,
if he’s half the genius
they say he is,
we’re in for real trouble.
Now, calm down, Bert.
Well, it’s a cinch
he’s not working alone.
This place must
be crawling
with agents by now.
I think we should
move Willard Whyte.
Nonsense. Mr. Whyte
is perfectly safe
at his own summer house.

It’s on the ridge,
about 10 miles
out of town.
I’m a little
surprised, Bert.
It’s not like you
to panic.
Well, I just don’t
enjoy messing around
with a guy as tough
as James Bond.
Never mind James Bond.
You get down to that house.
I’m afraid Mr. Whyte
has suddenly outgrown
his usefulness.
Do it cleanly, Bert.
Don’t worry.
Just leave
everything to me.
(SPEAKING NORMALLY)
That ridiculous contraption
actually seems to work, Q.
You’ve surpassed
yourself this time.
Not a bit of it.
Made one of these
for the kids
last Christmas.
Maxwell, James and I
are heading for the house.
You get set
to hit the penthouse
as soon
as we find Whyte.
Right.
BLOFELD: Let me speak to Metz.
There’s been a change.
Push all plans
forward by 24 hours.
I’m joining you immediately.
Give me five minutes
to get up there
and five minutes
to find Whyte.
Are you sure
you know what you’re doing?
Ask me again
in 10 minutes’ time.
Tell Maxwell to stand by
to hit the penthouse.
Well, hi there.
I’m Bambi.
Good morning, Bambi.
And I’m Thumper.
Is there something
we can do for you?
I can think of
several things offhand,
but at the moment
I’m looking
for Willard Whyte.
Oh, Willie.
Why, he’s right
out there.
And that’s all
there is to it?
Not quite.
First, we’re gonna
have a ball.
(GRUNTING)
All yours, Bambi.
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
You’re on again, Bambi.
Thumper.
(SHOUTS)
(GRUNTS)
(BOTH SCREAM)
Hello, Felix.
Wouldn’t you know it.
Willard Whyte
is about to be executed,
and who’s giving
breaststroke lessons?
Where the hell is Whyte?
I haven’t found out yet.
(BOTH GASPING)
Still haven’t found out.
Right.
FBI?
CIA?
No, British Intelligence.
Mr. Whyte, James Bond.
I see you met
my friends
Bambi and Thumper.
Yes. We did have
a bit of a chat.
What the hell’s
happened to me?
And what can I do
about it?
Let’s get out
of here first,
and I’ll explain it
to you en route.
Tell Maxwell to hit
the penthouse…
(RIFLE FIRES)
(RICOCHET)
(MACHINE GUN FIRES)
(SHOUTS)
Saxby.
Bert Saxby?
Yeah.
Tell him he’s fired.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Hi there, Mr. Q.
Are you having
any luck?
I’m being somewhat
successful, thank you.
Listen, Mr. Q.
I was wondering,
have you heard
any talk about me
from Felix or James?
No, I’m afraid not.
I guess I’m working
for the good guys now,
but I’m still only
two steps away
from the slammer,
if they want me there.
I thought you might
be able to put in
a good word.
That’s unbelievable!
An electromagnetic
RPM controller.
Been aching
to give it a try.
You see,
pressure on the case here
when the desired
symbols appear.
This causes the rotation
of the cylinders
to stutter
at just the precise
moment needed to…
(COINS CLATTERING)
Cab, lady?
(GROANS)
Well, well, well.
Look what the cat
dragged in.
I’m delighted
to meet you, Miss Case.
I had so dreaded
the prospect
of making this
tedious journey alone.
This way, Mr. Whyte.
It was right here,
but six feet high
with a solar panel.
It had these aerofoils
that seemed to…
Draw it for me.
Was Dr. Metz
on your payroll, Mr. Whyte?
No, but I heard of him.
Everybody in our business has.
The world’s leading expert
on laser refraction.
A committed idealist
to peace.
And how in the hell
Blofeld got his
hooks in him
I will never know.
How did he get security
clearance to work here
in the first place?
Well, from you, sir.
I talked to you
personally about it.
I even recognized
your voice just now.
I’m sure I must’ve
told you not to keep
the usual duplicate
microfilm records
of the project.
Exactly, sir.
Tom, what did
I tell you to do
with this?
Send it to
Vandenburg, sir.
Well, get him
on the phone! Now!
(PHONE RINGING)
Yeah.
You won’t
believe this.
Willard Whyte
for you.
Wow. This is
a real honor, sir.
Shove your honor.
Where’s that satellite
I sent there?
Blasted off
24 minutes ago, sir.
Perfect trajectory.
All systems go.
We expect to enter orbit
right on the nose, sir.
(SIGNAL SCREECHING)
Wait.
Something’s happened.
Just a moment,
Mr. Whyte.
The scanners
have gone crazy.
Premature
first stage separation.
It doesn’t make sense.
Stand by to abort.
We can’t control it, sir.
Abort it!
It’s negative.
We can’t.
Something’s taken over
the guidance system.
It’s as if it had
a will of its own.
And there’s not
a damn thing
we can do about it
at the moment.
We’re working on it, sir.
I’ll call you
right back, Mr. Whyte.
Well, whatever it is,
your friend Blofeld’s
controlling it now.
BOND: A vast supply
of diamonds
being manipulated
by an expert
in light refraction.
The first laser beam
is generated
through a diamond.
And if old Metz
deserves one-tenth
of his reputation,
the power of that thing
could be incredible.
And Blofeld’s got it.
Where is it now?
MAN: Approaching
North Dakota.
Alert Strategic
Air Command.
Give me a number line
to SAC.
MAN ON P.A.:
Attention, all personnel.
Attention, all personnel.

We have a red alert.
Stand by
for emergency procedure.
(ALARM SOUNDING)
(HUMMING)
(PHONE RINGING)
Willard Whyte.
Yes, General.
One of our missiles
just accidentally blew up
in North Dakota.
Whatever’s happening,
Mr. Bond, has started.
(EXPLOSION)
Is this your herd?
Mr. Whyte?
Yeah.
Phone call for you
from Washington. Urgent.
I’ll catch it
in the john.
What about Blofeld?
Not a trace.
But we found a tunnel.
We’re checking it out.
Where’s Tiffany?
Do you mind
if we find Blofeld first?
Come on.
Let’s hit that tunnel.
(SCREAMING)
Well, Washington
just got word
from your friend
with the cat.
Would you believe
that this whole
damn country
is being held
for ransom,
and we got
till noon tomorrow
to pay up?
So that’s it, then.
Well, I’m sure
you won’t be alone.
An international
auction
with nuclear
supremacy
going to the
highest bidder.
Tell me.
What does he need
to control that satellite?
A simple set of tapes
fed into a computer bank.
All he really needs
is a building.
And these tapes,
large or small?
Conceivably, any size
from six-inch
to a cassette.
Assuming he’s still
using your empire
as a cover,
Blofeld could be
anywhere on this map.
From Alaska to Florida.
From Maine to Oregon.
From Texas
to Baja, California.
Baja?
I haven’t got anything
in Baja.
MAN ON RADIO:
There is still no official
government explanation

of the apparent simultaneous
nuclear accidents
in North Dakota and Russia.
Presidential News Secretary
John Fenner
has refused comment
on an unconfirmed report
that an emergency meeting
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
is in session
at this very moment.
It is believed
that the United States
and the Soviet Union

have assured each other
over the hotline
that no offensive action
has been taken
by either nation.

Reports of another nuclear
accident in Red China
are as yet unconfirmed.
We will bring you
further reports…
Two more submarines
have taken up position
not 10 miles away.
Are those
military aircraft
going to
stand off forever?
What if they won’t
accept our ultimatum?
What if they decide
to attack?
Calm yourself, Metz.
This farcical show of force
was only to be expected.
Yes…
The great powers
flexing their
military muscles
like so many
impotent beach boys.
I deeply regret my threat
to destroy a major city
unless they give in,
but there it is.
The nuclear powers,
like all bullies,
can only be
intimidated by force.
But how can you…
There’s still an hour
left for them to reply.
One hour
for both of us
to achieve
our common dream.
Total disarmament
and peace for the world.
Sir, there’s
a single plane
approaching.
Range?
Two miles,
and closing.
Stage one alert, please.
Command Center.
All crew
to stage one.
(ALARM SOUNDING)
MAN: On the top,
second platform.
MAN 2: There it is.
MAN: Aim!
BLOFELD: Hold your fire!
MAN ON P.A.:
All recovery crew personnel
proceed to docking level
and stand by.
Good morning, gentlemen.
The Acme Pollution Inspection.
We’re cleaning up the world.
We thought this was
a suitable starting point.
How disappointing.
I was expecting
one Head of State
at the very least.
Surely you haven’t come
to negotiate, Mr. Bond.
Your pitiful little island
hasn’t even been threatened.
Search him from his
toenails to the last
follicle on his head
and then bring him to me.
(MARCH PLAYING)
I do so hate martial music.
And as usual, Mr. Bond,
you were absolutely right.
You guessed correctly
that box contained
the master satellite
control tape
and you came aboard
presumably hoping
to substitute this
for the real thing.
I’m so sorry
to have ruined the line
of your suit
for nothing.
BOND: Talking about lines,
which one did you use
on Miss Case?
Miss Case has taken
a terribly reasonable
attitude about all this.
Like any sensible animal,
she’s only threatening
when she’s threatened.
It appears that you’re holding
all the aces,
right down
to the dragon lady over here.
BLOFELD: Jealousy? From you,
Mr. Bond?
I’m flattered.
As La Rochefoucauld
observed,
“Humility is the worst
form of conceit.”
I do hold a winning hand.
Why don’t you
let me take you
on a little tour
of our facilities.
Your chance
to see the real tape
once again.
TIFFANY: Can I
tag along, Ernst?
I’d put something on
over that bikini first,
my dear.
I’ve come too far
to have the aim
of my crew
affected by the sight
of a pretty body.
No word yet
from anyone.
Only 12 minutes left.
Oh, well, I suppose
a little gentle prodding
is called for.
As you see, Mr. Bond,
the satellite
is at present over Kansas.
Well, if we destroy Kansas,
the world may not hear
about it for years.
Perhaps New York.
All that smut and traffic.
Would give them a chance
for a fresh start.
Washington, D.C. Perfect.
Since we have not
heard from them,
they will hear from us.
See to it, Metz.
Washington?
Right.
And this presumably
is the control bank
with the coded tape.
Right again, Mr. Bond.
All satellites
are controlled by
a coded tape.
The trick is, of course,
to have the code.
Obviously. It all seems
so perfectly simple.
I suppose
one just presses that
and out it pops.
Put it back, Mr. Bond.
Immediately.
Hi, Ernst!
Is Superman giving you
any trouble?
Put it back
very carefully.
You’ve certainly become
tiresome, Mr. Bond.
Target fixed.
Commence countdown.
Ten minutes
and counting.
Take him away
and throw him in the brig.
And search him again
just to make sure.
Bitch.
Come on.
Your problems are all
behind you now.
(GRUNTS)
MAN: Stop him!
(GRUNTS)
MAN ON P.A.:
Nine minutes and counting.
I did it.
I switched the tape
in the machine.
You stupid twit,
you put the real one
back in.
Come on.
Come on. Let’s go.
MAN: A weather balloon.
What do you think,
Mr. Leiter?
That must be
the signal.
There isn’t
a low-pressure area
within 200 miles
of here.
Let’s go.
This is Charlie One
to squadron.
Charlie One to squadron.
Ready all guns
and proceed to target.
I repeat.
Proceed to target.
MAN ON RADIO:
Roger, Charlie One. Out.
Come on, Bond.
Get the hell
off that rig.
MAN ON P.A.:
Eight minutes and counting.
Unidentified aircraft
approaching rapidly.
Range, five miles.
But I don’t understand.
You said
they wouldn’t attack.
You said…
The balloon
was a signal.
Stupid fools must think
Mr. Bond has
accomplished his mission.
Activate defenses.
Activate defenses.
(ALARM SOUNDING)
MAN ON P.A.:
Seven minutes and counting.
This is Charlie One.
Commence attack.
Commence attack.
(GUNS FIRING)
Six minutes and counting.
Get them
on the radio, Blofeld.
Tell them we give up.
Give up?
I’ve waited too long
for this moment.
They’ll pay dearly
for making a fool
out of me.
METZ: Oh, I see it all now.
You don’t give a damn
about peace.
All you care about…
Shut up, Metz.
Tiffany, my dear.
We’re showing
a bit more cheek
than usual, aren’t we?
Take her below
and lock her up
with Mr. Bond.
What a pity.
Such nice cheeks, too.
If only they were brains.
Destroy this, Metz.
(GUNS FIRING)
MAN ON P.A.:
Five minutes and counting.
(SCREAMING)
(SHOUTS)
(HELICOPTER PASSING)
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
MAN ON P.A.:
Four minutes and counting.
Tell them we surrender!
This is utter madness!
One more word, Metz,
and I’ll have you shot.
Get back to your post.
Prepare my Bathosub
immediately.
MAN ON P.A.:
Three minutes and counting.
All systems interlock.
Bathosub to crane.
Commence lift.
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
MAN ON P.A.:
Two minutes and counting.
Power and breathing
systems on.
Release catch is open.
Lower away.
Bathosub to crane. Lower away.
Wake up, man! Lower away!
You stupid idiot!
You could’ve killed me.
Disengage.
Disengage.
Disengage! Lower! Not up!
One minute and counting.
BLOFELD:
Blofeld to Command Center.
Come in.
Blofeld to Command Center!
Come in!
Damn you! Damn you!
Command Center, come in!
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)
MAN ON P.A.:
Forty seconds and counting.
Get the gun.
Here!
(GASPS)
Shoot them!
(SHOUTS)
Jump!
MAN ON P.A.: Ten, nine,
eight, seven…
(FOGHORN SOUNDING)
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
LEITER: So long, James.
I’ll wire M you’re on
your way home.
Don’t tell him which
direction we’ve taken.
If you’re having
a good time,
let the captain know,
and I’ll have him
steam around in circles.
James.
There’s something
very important
I’ve been meaning
to ask you about us.
Oh?
I know
in a relationship
like ours,
the girl’s not
supposed to be
the one to ask,
but I can’t help it.
And please think
before answering.
That I promise.
James…
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
There must be
some mistake.
I didn’t order any…
No mistake, sir.
On the specific instructions
and with the compliments
of Mr. Willard Whyte.
Oysters Andaluce.
Shashlik.
Tidbits.
Prime rib Au jus.
Salade Utopia.
(DEVICE TICKING)
And for dessert,
the piece de resistance.
La bombe surprise.
Mmm!
That looks fantastic.
What’s in it?
But then there
would be no surprise,
would there, madam?
KIDD: Madam would care
to be seated?
Thank you.
This will just take
a moment
and then we will
leave you in peace.
Wine, sir?
Mouton Rothschild, ’55.
May we begin?
BOND: Please do.
A happy selection,
if I may say.
I’ll be the judge of that.
That’s rather potent.
Not the cork, your aftershave.
Strong enough
to bury anything.
But the wine
is quite excellent.
Although, for such
a grand meal,
I had rather
expected a claret.
WINT: Of course.
Unfortunately, our cellar
is rather poorly stocked
with clarets.
Mouton Rothschild is a claret.
And I’ve smelled
that aftershave before.
And both times,
I’ve smelled a rat.
(SHOUTS)
(EXCLAIMING IN HORROR)
(SHOUTING)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMS)
(WHOOPS)
(SHOUTS)
Well, he certainly
left with his tail
between his legs.
Oh, James.
Oh, yes. What were you
about to ask me?
James?
How the hell
do we get those
diamonds down again?
(DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER PLAYING)
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Sparkling round
my little finger
♪ Unlike men,
the diamonds linger
♪ Men are mere mortals
who are not worth going to
your grave for

♪ I don’t need love
♪ For what good
will love do me
♪ Diamonds never lie to me
♪ For when love’s gone
♪ They luster on
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Forever, forever ♪
♪ Diamonds are forever
♪ Forever, forever
♪ Forever
♪ And ever ♪